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Thesis statement (a debatable statement you will prove with textual evidence and analysis in your essay)

Category

S/O/T/I 

Ms. O.’s comments

Sample from Huck Finn: (central idea underlined):

In Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the river serves as Huck's classroom, teaching him about himself, about friendship and about society.

Sample from Huck Finn: (central idea underlined):

In Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Huck is a classic child of a dysfunctional family as he suffers abuse, lives for the moment and is easily influenced by others

Sample from Huck Finn: (central idea underlined):

Twain's novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn demonstrates that friendship helps us overcome life obstacles such as discrimination, tough decisions and loneliness.

Sample from Of Mice and Men:

In Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men, animals represent the human characteristics of vulnerability, simplicity and ....

1. 

In The Odyssey Athena serves as a protector and guide for Odysseus. 

In The Odyssey animal imagery displays the characters' personalities and characteristics.

In "The Odyssey" Homer uses animal imagery to show the strength and power of Odysseus. 

In "The Odyssey" Homer uses animal imagery to prove that Odysseus is stronger and more powerful than the other mortals in the epic.  

Odysseus' heart is set on home because Ithaca offers family, loyalty, and memories.

• family- O could be immortal but instead chooses his family.  -cannot find unconditional love anywhere                             -he feels completed with his family                                          -after hearing about his very sad father in Hades, he wants to go to his father and get him out of his misery
• loyalty- Eumaeus and Philoetus, O trusted them and revealed his identity to them     - nurse agreed not to tell anyone about the scar                -Telemachus agrees to not tell anyone about O's return home (pg. 348)
• memories -O's dog, Argos,  recognized O when he returned home (does that fit into this category?)                    -built his bedroom around the olive tree                                     - their bed "the old familiar place they loved so well" (23.338)                    

character

imagery 

This does not seem debatable.   I am also wondering what the "so what?" would be.  Athena is a possible topic, but it would need reworking.

(Some questions to consider in the process: What different roles does Athena play for O?  Who plays these roles in our lives?) 

A start, but as is = more observation than analysis.  Needs to be more specific.

List all the examples you can (use your time-line) and look for patterns.  Look for How? and Why? Categorize the evidence (which will add analysis and create topics for your body paragraphs) 

More specific, which is good.  Not especially analytical.  Be thinking of what your "so what?" would be in your conclusion.

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be? (Should be clear from thesis

OK

Argos could fit into any of the three categories

scar could be evidence too

At some point (in thesis and / or conclusion) broaden to theme (message) about home.

2.     

In The Odyssey, Homer uses animal imagery to create an effective vision in the reader's mind. The qualities of characters are therefore prominant and stay with the reader.

In The Odyssey, Homer uses animal imagery to create an effective vision in the reader's mind. The imagery is easy to understand, prominent in the reader’s mind, and gives a character a more vivid description. Readers remember the characters for their qualities such as Odysseus’ courageousness.

In The Odyssey, Homer uses animal imagery to create an effective vision in the reader's mind. The imagery is prominent in the reader’s mind because the descriptive Homeric simile includes recognizable animal qualities that are easily relatable. Imagery also gives a character a more vivid description since the imagery includes so many details. Readers remember the characters for their qualities such as Odysseus’ courageousness compared to a lion.

Homer's use of animal imagery illustrates that audiences at the time encountered wild and domesticated animals in their daily lives and therefore could create a vivid picture of a character or situation in their mind.

New Thesis: Homer uses animal imagery to exagerate virtuous or sinful qualities that reside in characters that can bring them success or failure.

Imagery 

Animal imagery has potential as a topic, but the thesis will need to be much more specific.  Look at all of your notes on animal imagery: what animals? what qualities?  Why/how effective? etc. etc.).  The topics of each body paragraph should be clear from the thesis.

How could you prove what "is prominent in the reader's mind"?  Animal imagery has potential as a topic, but the thesis will need to be much more specific and provable with textual evidence.  Look at all of your notes on animal imagery: what animals? what qualities?  Why/how effective/fitting? etc. etc.).  The topics of each body paragraph should be clear from the thesis.

Same issues as blue version.

You could go somewhere with the recognizable qualities.

Your proof needs to be the text, not interviews with readers.

Thesis should be one sentence. 

How would you prove this?

Archeological dig?

Evidence needs to be from the text.

OK - give it a try (much improved!)

Is the last part "that... failure" needed?

Spell check.

3.     

A theme that Homer repeatedly explores in "The Odyssey" is that giving into curiousity or temptation has negatvie effects. 

A theme that Homer repeatedly explores in "The Odyssey" is that giving into curiousity or temptation has negative effects, such as setting Odysseus back on his journey for momentary pleasure/satasfaction. 

NEW THESIS:

The consequences of Odysseus’s mistakes, his extreme suffering, and his observing of others’ faults cause him to recognize the negative effects of hubris, thereby allowing him to evolve as a character.

T (Theme) 

O (Odysseus)

Yes.  But you need to take this beyond noting a theme we identified in class.  Make a list of every example of giving into curiosity and look for patterns.  Consider, for example, Why does giving into curiosity have negative effects?  What types of negative effects?  How? etc. etc.

Comments above still hold. Addition does not provide clear structure or analytical angle for the paper.

OK.  See the skeleton assignment sheet under "9H handouts" on my web page.  There is a sample skeleton there too. 

4.     

Throughout the Epic poem The Odyssey Homer uses his very own brand of simile, aptly named Homeric similes, to convey powerful emotions and feelings through represention.

Via the use of Homeric similes, The Odyssey was affected the readers understanding, enjoyment, and  (I need a word for creation of mental pictures) dramatically.

Throughout the epic poem, Poiseidon, Helios, Circe, and all other mentioned foes were not the real enemies.

•  
• Ate (Goddess of temptation)
• (Other Gods/Godesses that lead Odysseus off the path) 

Someone just deleted my new thesis! What a jerk!

In The Odyssey, Odysseus's real enemies are Eros the Goddess of lust, Bai the Goddess of violence, and Ate the Goddess of temptation.

• Maybe this will help explain what I intend to discuss:
  • Bai affects him becausemany are violent against him, including the Lystogonians, Poiseidon, the Cyclops, and his other foes. Bai influences them to this violence
  • Ate empts Odysseus's crew to eat the cyclops food, and to eat the sun cattle, affecting odysseus getting home. She also tempts odysseus to be daring and Mock the cyclops who curses his name.
  • Eros influences various Nymphs (circe/calypso) to have relationships with Odysseus. It also influences the suitors too vy for the marrige of Penelope lusting for the power. 

In The Odyssey, Odysseus's real foes are lust, temptation, and violence

AM I OK'ed??.

 (Characters) 

This is observation not analysis.  If you want to explore Homeric similes, get much more specific and look for a debatable point you can prove with your examples. 

Too hard to prove.  Would your evidence be interviews with readers?  Your evidence needs to be text from the "Odyssey."  Read over all your notes on Homeric similes.  What patterns do you notice? What is being used in the comparisons?  Why is that effective? Pick a specific aspect and break that down.  Ask WHY?  HOW?

Intriguing.  Not sure what bullets underneath are.  What are the real foes? 

Is there evidence to support this?

With lust, can he really deny goddesses?

Is O gratuitously violent?

Doesn't he resist a lot of temptation?

So, O's real enemies are violence, temptation and lust.  That can work.   Introducing god/godesses not in the epic adds confusion...

YOU COULD ADD THEM IN THE CONCLUSION...

OK - see last note above

5.     

In Homers epic poem, The Odyssey, Odysseus, the main character shows his strengths and weaknesses as a leader to convey his god like powers.

In Homers epic poem the Odyssey, Odysseus, the main character is portrayed as "god like" to show his strengths and weaknesses as a leader.

Chararacters 

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?  Needs to be more specific. 

Clearer.  If you think you can prove it, give it a go (OK).

Avoid passive.

Embrace punctuation. 

6.     

In "The Odyssey" by Homer, the virtue of loyalty is represented as rewarding through character foils.  

In "The Odyssey," Homer uses character foils to show (better word than "show" needed) that those with who hold to their promises and display long-lasting loyalty will fare better than those who do not.

Body paragraphs: Odysseus vs. his crew at the Island of the Sun, Eumaeus vs. Melanthius, and Penelope/Telemachus vs. suitors

Theme/ Character? 

Fine to combine categories.

I like the idea of character foils to fit in somewhere (could be within the analysis).

What would the topics of your body paragraphs be?  

Push analysis of theme further (What are the virtues of loyalty?  Why? etc.)

Avoid passive...

OK, give it a go.

Make sure you have more than one specific example per body paragraph.

Aim for ANALYTICAL topic sentences that explore why?/how? (which may lead to further revisions of your thesis).

Happy to conference once you have a rough skeleton. 

7.     

In "The Odyssey" by Homer, the role of the goddess Athena takes priority, therefore protecting Odysseus throughout major tragedies of the epic.

What happened to your thesis in red? 

In "The Odyssey" by Homer, the "like father like son" relationship between Odysseus and Telemachus is shown through their bravery, strength, and leadership.

Character 

Observation, not analysis 

No, the Fates determine O's fate. 

OK. 

Avoid passive.

8.     

Homer's writing in "The Odyssey" shows that appearances had a huge impression on Ancient Greek society.

In "The Odyssey" Homer shows that a group of followers is useless without their leader.

Homers bird imagery in "The Odyssey" shows the emotions, characteristics, and authority of different characters.

I can't think of any good ones, all are not working out! and ideas?

Themes

Go beyond the theme we identified in class.

Why do appearances matter?  Push analysis of theme.

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?  Make a list of examples where appearance mattered and look for patterns you can use to categorize the evidence into paragraphs. 

Good central idea. 

Why is a group of followers useless without a leader?

What would the topics of your body paragraphs be?

OK - this works.

Be thinking about your "so what?" for your conclusion.  Whay are birds fitting to illustrate emotions, characteristics and authority? 

(Don't give up so easily.)

9.

Throughout "The Odyssey" by Homer, Odysseus is portrayed as a very realistic character. 

Throughout "The Odyssey", Homer portrays Odysseus as a very realistic character by showing both his weeknesses and strengths.

characters

How? In what ways?

Clear central idea - now flesh out your full thesis: what will the topics of your body paragraphs be? 

Avoid passive...

OK, give it a go. 

Spell key words correctly :-)     

10. 

In the Greek epic "The Odyssey" Homer makes it clear that defying immortals is never in mans best intrest.

In the Homer's Greek epic "The Odyssey" defying the gods or their kin almost always results in the death or dispair, and sometimes both, of the man who commited the crime. 

NEW  THESIS 

In the Greek epic "The Odyssey" Homer uses character foils to show that those who remain loyal will fare better.

In the Greek epic "The Odyssey" Homer uses character foils, such as the goatherd against the swineherd or Eurycleia against Melantho, to show that those who remain loyal will fare better.

- 1st paragraph would show how the swine and goat herds are character foils, the second showing how Eurycleia and Melantho are character foils, the last saying why/how they fare better.

themes

Go beyond the theme we identified in class.

Could this apply to life today or life outside the epic?  How?

If you want to pursue, make a list of examples and look for patterns you can use to categorize the evidence into paragraphs.  

Observation, not analysis.

No clear "so what" 

Essays on the gods are hard to make work.

Very similar to another, but OK

You need categories for the evidence in your body paragraphs

Can you incorporate WHY or HOW those who remain loyal fare better?

My comments remain the same as those in blue.  Specific evidence should not be in the thesis.  Instead you should preview your body paragraphs by including the category of evidence each will present.  For ex., as we discussed, The river serves as HF's classroom as it teaches him about himself, about friendship and about society (body para 1 would have examples of the river teaching HF about himself, etc.)

Your structure is not the most efficient or analytical.

Are there other foils?  Why or how do those who remain loyal fare better?  Why are foils effective?

11. 

In The Odyssey by Homer, lion imagery symbolizes Odysseus's strength, leadership and bravery 

Imagery 

Clear structure.

Make sure you have multiple examples for each body paragraph.

Be thinking about what your "so what?" in the conclusion will be.

You are OK to start.

12. 

In Homers epic the Odyssey, the theme loyalty is a virtue is seen through the use of character foils and in Penelope. 

In Homers epic the Odyssey, the theme respect and faithfulness is rewarded is shown through inter-character relationships.

In the Odyssey The character foils show that faithfulness and respect are rewarded while not following this will result in a bad fate.

In the Odyssey The character foils show that faithfulness and respect are rewarded while not following this will result in a bad fate.

the body paragraphs will be eumaeus vs. melanthius, eurylochus vs. telemachus, suitors vs. penelope

T(theme) 

See comments under #6

You must go beyond a theme we identified in class. (Reread "D" on the Itinerary for the Odyssey")  Push the analysis of the message:   Why?   How?   So what?

List all the examples you can think of (use your time-line to help you).  Look for patterns.  Look for answers to the above questions.  How could you categorize the examples (analytically to form topics for your body paragraphs)?

What will the topics for your body paragraphs be?  Avoid passive.

OK, try it.  Streamline phrasing of thesis (avoid passive, make more concise).  Be as analytical as possible.  Why foils effective.  It seems Clytemnestra and Penelope are foils too.  

In "The Odyssey" character foils show the rewards of f and r.

13. 

In the Greek epic "The Odyssey", Homer makes it clear that the laws of hospitality should be taken seriously.

In The Odyssey, Odysseus's inner turmoil's unravel the underlying themes throughout the novel like the laws of respecting the gods, hospitality, and loyalty.   

In Homers epic poem the Odyssey, Odysseus, the main character is portrayed as having the cunning of Athena, and the strenth and authority of Zues,  to show his strengths and weaknesses as a leader.

In Homers epic poem the Odyssey, Odysseus, the main character possesses the cunning of Athena, the strength of Poseidon, and the authority of Zeus, to increase his abilities as a leader.

T (Theme) 

Go beyond the theme we identified in class.

Why should hospitality be taken seriously?  Push analysis of theme.

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?  Make a list of examples and look for patterns you can use to categorize the evidence into paragraphs. 

Themes are messages. 

What will your "so what" be?

Seems broad

Bring your evidence and let's

conference when the class workshops 

Will the body paragraphs be based on the character traits or the leadership strengths or weaknesses?

Embrace punctuation. Avoid passive.

We conferenced...

14. 

Throughout Odysseus's journey, his strengths and weaknesses teach him about life.

Throughout the Odyssey, Odysseus has shown many strengths and weaknesses. When we look back on those, we can learn about life. -body paragraphs would be strengths, weaknesses, and what we can learn from it.

The strengths and weaknesses would show what teaches odysseus about life. Then the third paragraph would be what it teaches us. 

Odysseus 

Make more specific.

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be? 

Please follow directions by using a different color font when you make revisions.

Original is more concise.  The strength paragraph needs to prove his strengths teach him about life.  Same for the weakness paragraph.

Thanks for switching colors; that way I don't miss the request for feedback.

OK, try it.  Please show me a draft of the skeleton in a conference (when you are at that stage), so we can make sure it is working (this is a new topic for me).  Your third paragraph may end up being your conclusion (which is fine).  Streamline the phrasing of your thesis.

15. 

In "The Odyssey" Odysseus proves to have ideal Greek qualities such as loyalty and the ability to resist temptation.

Odysseus is considered to be the ideal Greek hero for showing Greek hero traits such as courage, loyalty and favoritism from the Gods. 

An ideal greek hero has qualities that overlap with Odysseus' traits such as courage, loyalty and favoritism from the Gods.

In "The Odyssey" Odysseus changes from an arrogant man that has reached huberus to a more humble and grateful person because of the lessons he learned along his journey.

Character (Odysseus) 

See section D of the Itinerary handout.  What is the one topic under O that I blocked?

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?

Do you have enough evidnece to prove arrogant?

"that" should be" who"

Put what you have on paper, so we can conference during workshop in class

16. 

In the epic The Odyssey by Homer, Odysseus's flaws and mistakes help to teach us about the meanings of life.

In the epic The Odyssey by Homer, Odysseus's flaws and mistakes help us to discover the underlying themes through out the novel.

In the epic The Odyssey by Homer, Odysseus's flaws and mistakes help us to discover the underlying themes through out the novel like trust, friendship and faith. 

Better.  Add specifics so clear what topics of body paragraphs will be. 

OK - with some polishing

avoid personal pronouns

themes = messages

epic, not novel

17. 

s s

In The Odyssey Homer uses different types of imagery, such as bird, eye, and animal imagery, to symbolize different aspects of the story.

In The Odyssey Homer uses animal imagery to represent omens, strength, and godlike qualities. 

  OK.

Be thinking what your "so what?" will be in your conclusion.  Why is animal imagery fitting for these purposes?

See skeleton assignment sheet on my web page.  There is a sample skeleton too.

18. 

Through the use of epithets, Homer brings the characters of The Odyssey to life with vivid descriptions of their personalities and actions.

Through homeric similes and epithets Homer shows Odysseus' strength and cleverness.

Odysseus is a man of strength, perserverance, and cleverness, Homer shows these traits homeric similies and epithets that expose the true meaning of a hero. 

Homer uses homeric similes and epithets to show Odysseus' strength and respect for the gods, illustrating that both these qualities are necessary to lead a respectable life.

Odysseus' experiences with women makes Odysseus realize how much the misses Penelope and how much he wants to return home.

Odysseus is a man of strength, eloquence, and has respect for his men, these characteristics make him a respectable man therefore allowing him to return home.

Odysseus is a man of strength, eloquence, and has respect for his men, these characteristics make him honorable, dignified, and presentable. 

Hospitality is the moral code of conduct within "The Odyssey". 

Imagery (I) 

How would you prove this? 

Observation, not analysis. 

See "D" on Itinerary handout.  You cannot prove O is a hero.  Also, the thesis is observation not analysis.  Hang in there - keep trying.

I don't see the cause-effect of similes and epithets showing, therefore = necessary for respectable life...

Perhaps you could try proving something about O without vague reference to similes and epithets.  You could certainly use similes and epithets as your proof.

What will your body paragraphs be?  Do you have sufficient evidence (see requirements on skeleton assignment sheet)?

Three good categories for evidence

I am not as in love wiht the central idea.

Be more specific than "respectable"

Can you prove these traits are what allowed him to return homw?

Ah, I did not expect more categories...  do each of the first characteristics prove all three of the second set?  Gets a bit confusing...

Observation, not analysis

19. 

Throughout the epic poem "The Odyssey", Odysseus is like a museum display on Greek culture and values.

• Role of the gods in Greek culture and how the Greeks lives are influenced by their presence
• the valued and ideal human characteristics in Greek society
• (still working on more) 

• Loyalty 
• self-restraint
• generosity
• role of gods
• ect...

• Throughout the epic poem "The Odyssey", Odysseus is like a museum display on Greek culture and values such as loyalty, self-restraint, generosity and the role of the Gods.

Character

(Odysseus) 

Original phrasing of central idea.

What would the topics of your body paragraphs be? 

These bullets are so big.

Can you come up with three values (one to three words each) that capture the essence? 

Now craft a thesis combining black and fuchsia.

How is O a model of the role of the gods?

OK (could still smooth phrasing of thesis).  Make sure topic sentences of body paragraphs are analytical. 

20. 

From the epic poem, The Odyssey, by Homer, you can infer that hospitality was an enormous part of Greek culture.

The Odyssey, the epic poem by Homer, is full of hospitable Greeks. Unfortunately, this recurring theme is not typically seen in the world today.

In The Odyssey by Homer, father and son relationships are defined by different values.

In The Odyssey, the father and son relationship between Odysseus and Telemachus is defined by values such as responsibility, loyalty and courage.

Theme

Can't we observe this (do we even need to infer it?)

See comments for #13 

Why is this relevant to life outside the epic?  How is it a relevant message today?  

None of your evidence would be from the epic.

This could work, but Identify the specific values in ther your thesis.  Make sure you have several examples to support each.

21. 

In Homer's epic, The Odyssey, it can be said that Odysseus is seen and displayed as more of a god than a man. 

Odysseus evokes more characteristics of a god then a man in Homer's epic The Odyssey.

-how he sees himself

-how his crew see him

-his actions

-how the gods view him

Odysseus evokes more characteristics of a god than a man in Homer's epic The Odyssey, particularly in how he sees himself, how his crew sees him, his actions and how the gods view him.

Odysseus evokes more characteristics of a god than a man in Homer's epic The Odyssey, particularly in how he leads his crew, how he views himself, and how the gods affect him.

C(Odysseus) 

Has Bertha said this??

Has she seen O?

What will be the topics of your body paragraphs? 

Work this into one smooth sentence without a homonym error, and then OK. 

OK but keep refining phrasing

• "his actions" loses parallel structure of how..., how... how...
• Vary word choice for "sees"
• categories in best order?

22. 

In "The Odyssey," Homer uses nature in his Homeric Similes to shows the parallels between nature and Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, the Homeric similes show the parallels between Odysseus and nature, and do a good job of describing character traits.

(Old idea scrapped)

With the suitors misjudgements and Odysseus' cunning ways, being in a powerful posistion may not always mean having all of the power. 

While Odysseus gains power as a beggar, the suitors can't seem to use their authority at all, proving that a powerful posistion doesn't always relate to actual power, which is prominently seen in many sections of "The Odyssey." 

Paragraph Structure-  Intro, examples of suitor's misjudgements, evidence of how Odysseus gains his power as a beggar, other examples (i.e. Cyclops would seem to have power but loses fight, Odysseus's men win battle, so tyhey kill the cattle and then lose their power with misjudgement), conclusion

With Odysseus' ascent to power, the suitors' misjudgments, and many other examples, a powerful position may not always result in having power. 

Imagery

Characters, Themes

Good start 

What will be the topics of your body paragraphs? 

Spell epic title correctly, please :-) 

The additions make it so broad.

Can you instead think of specific parallels between O's struggle and nature that would each have multiple supporting examples?

use present tense

epic title in quotation marks 

Don't delete aborted thesis statements.  Others can learn from reading them and the feedback.

OK on the idea.  Refine the phrasing and punctuation and spelling.

I cannot convince you to leave previous versions, eh?  Any other examples of this phenomenon?  What is your paragraph structure? 

Now rephrase your thesis, so it is clear you are using examples beyond suitors v. O.  Also reconsider the order of your paragraphs. 

Needs rephrasing.  Clearly categorize evidence in body paragraphs ("and many other examples" is insufficient for a thesis).

Once you have clear body paragraph topics/categories could structure thesis: A, B and C in H's epic "" demonstrate a powerful...

23. 

In Homer's epic, The Odyssey, Odysseus represents the central idea that sometimes it is harder to be the disciplinarian than it is to be the student through his experience with the cattle of the sun, Cerces, and the cyclop's cave. 

THEME  

24. 

The 12 residents of Olympus are the source of all conflict in Homer's epic the "Odyssey" .

As is accustomed in all Greek mythology, the gods of Mt. Olympus are directly and indirectly responsible for all th econflicts in Homer's "Odyssey" 

How is the second thesis idea an observation, whereas the first idea was not? 

Mankind's ignorance towards the gods, customs, and elders is the source of all conflict in Homer's "Odyssey"

????? (Theme, Characters?) 

What about the "reckless" ways of humans -- comes up a lot in the epic.

How does this apply beyond the epic?

What would the  topics of your body paragraphs be?

Observation, not analysis.

I have found the gods don't make for a good topic for this paper.  Faith could work but not merely observing the gods. 

I think it is debatable that the gods are the source of ALL conflict b/c I feel I have evidence that man's "reckless ways" also produce conflict.

OK, give it a go. 

25. 

You have clear topics for your body paragraphs. Adding a unifying central idea will strengthen the thesis and paper. Some angles to try for developing your central idea: Why are these traits of civilized nations? What do these traits have in common? etc.

OK - see assignment sheet for skeleton under 9H handouts on my website.

Use a colon instead of a semi-colon. 

26. 

 The capacity to oblige to prophecies determines the fate of many characters in the Odyssey. 

In "The Odyssey" Odysseus's ability to heed the warnings sent by the gods allows him to return to Ithaca safely.

In "The Odyssey" Odysseus determination,  strength and ability to heed the warnings sent by the gods allows him to return to Ithaca safely.

Theme 

Theme

Is this the only ability that allows O to return to Ithaca?  Try adding a couple other abilities (for which you would have several examples each), and then you should be set.  Please also cure the homonym error 

OK.  Be thinking about your "so what?" for the conclusion.  Why would these specific traits matter? Is the combination needed to be successful?  When would these matter today?

27. 

Throughout The Odyssey, manners have been extensively important, such as hospitality, overcoming hubris, and believing the signs of the Gods.

Throughout The Odyssey, manners of the people have been extensively important to the gods, such as hospitality, overcoming hubris, and believing the signs of the gods.

Throughout The Odyssey, manners of the people have been extensively important to the gods, to whom they show respect, such as hospitality, overcoming hubris, and believing the signs of the gods.

I'll talk about the importance in a separate sentence.

Theme

Could push analysis further:

Why are manners important?

To whom?

What do these “manners” have in common? 

Why are the manners important? 

So what that this is important to ancient gods? 

I don't see how this is different than the last.  The original actually seems the clearest.  Are manners only important to the gods?  See comments for original thesis too.

How does this solve the concerns?

28. 

Within the Odyssey, omens foreshadow negative events, give hope to characters, and inspire confidence in the gods, all reinforcing the idea of destiny and a higher power.

Within the Odyssey, humans seek omens to guide their actions, favoring to look to the heavens for hope, confidence, and warnings, revealing the need for an otherwordly guide.

Within the Odyssey, humans look to omens, fate, and the Gods for hope, confidence, and warnings, revealing the need for an otherworldy guide in order to escape the responsibilities of free will. 

Theme

Careful this does not become merely observation.  Try pushing analysis further up front: Consider how/why faith?  Why do humans seek omens? 

Why?

If you can prove this, give it a go. 

29. 

Why does it seem that wherever Odysseus lands, the island is always a paradise. But when he lands home there is none of this same occurrence? Is there a message to be had here?, what is this telling Odysseus?

Theme 

Intriguing ideas. 

Cyclops’ island = paradise??

 Keep playing with setting/theme ideas.

30. 

Throughout The Odyssey, Homer uses many forms of bird imagery to reveal omens and signs from the gods that could forsee good or bad events.

Throughout Homer's "The Odyssey", many forms of imagery are used repeatedly expressing the significance and purpose for using a similar line repetitvely. 

Throughout "The Odyssey" Homer repeatedly uses repeated imagery to warn characters of their fate and the depths of simple phrases are uncovered.

Throughout "The Odyssey" Homer uses repeated phrases which portray the image of an omen or sign, guiding Telemachus on his journey home and defeating the suitors.

Througout Homer's "The Odyssey" Odysseus' determination, leadership, and bravery is portrayed through the many forms of imagery used.

Throughout "The Odyssey" Homer uses animal and bird imagery to display the determination, leadership, and bravery of Odysseus. 

In "The Odyssey" by Homer, Telemachus becomes a young man who is worthy of his heritage as Odysseus' son because he is open to suggestion, able to take decisive action, and capable of helping his father regain his rightful position.

Imagery

Imagery

Imagery

Imagery (+Telemachus)

Characters? Imagery?

I/C

C

Observation not analysis  

(Put poem titles in quotation marks)  

Vague and circular.  What is the significance? -the purpose?  How could you prove these?

art about imagery = observation

Is Bertha uncovering the depths of simple phrases?  Not sure what this means.

Aim for more specific.  Don't give up!  

observation, not analysis

I think the repeated phrase part keeps taking you to a dead end. 

Keep trying.  I will try to check this while I am out of town this weekend.

Three categories = good to have,  but central idea remains weak: "is portrayed" is passive and sounds like a term to note observation, but this is closest yet.

Clear structure.  Not the most analytical but can work.  One way to increase analytical level is to ponder the "so what?" in your conclusion.  Push your thoughts and be specific.

OK

 31. 

In Homer's The Odyssey, Odysseus and Telemachus have similar traits such as their inconceivable bravery, their undying will to succeed and their demanding voice in leading Ithaca.

Characters

If you have enough evidence, you are OK to proceed. 

See handouts for the assignment and a sample. 

(Put poem titles in quotation marks)  

32. 

In Homer's epic The Odyssey, Athena is the essential driver of the plot.

In Homer's epic The Odyssey, Athena enables Odysseus to reclaim Ithaca.

Despite his title of king, Odysseus’s lack of being listened to caused him agony, a longer journey, and loss of respect from the gods.

The power of the mob mentality overrules Odysseus' title as king causing his own crew and Penelope's suitors to present him with punishment from the gods, agony, and chaos in his homeland Ithaca.

The power of the mob mentality overrules Odysseus’ title as king, presenting him with agony, punishment from the gods, and chaos in his homeland Ithaca.  

So what?

How would you prove this?

Topics of body paragraphs?

Observation, not analysis 

Original.  Do you have multiple pieces of evidence to support each category? 

Be thinking of "so what?" for your conclusion.

Give it a go - OK.

OK (could streamline thesis if would help you - crew and suitors not necessarily needed in thesis)

OK

33. 

Within Homer's epic, The Odyssey, fate of an individual is ultimately determined by the appreciation and loyalty given to the gods.

Within Homer's epic, The Odyssey, the behavior of humans ultimately determines their future:  reckless individuals do not have a promising future, good will come to those who act respectfully, and the arrogant are punished.

Despite the active role of the gods, within Homer's epic, "The Odyssey," the behaivor of humans ultimately determines their future: reckless individuals have a less than promising future and the arrogant are punished, while good will come to those who act respectfully.

Theme

No, the Fates determine an individual's fate.

There is discussion of humans' "reckless" ways...

Might want to demonstrate this is debatable by adding some contrast, such as, "Despite the active role of the gods..." 

OK - give it a try.  Thesis could be more concise.

34. 

In Homer's The Odyssey, loyalty and self-restraint are more valuable to Odysseus than the help of Athena.

Slightly revised thesis: In Homer's "The Odyssey", loyalty, self-restraint, and resilience are more valuable to Odysseus than the help of Athena.

STRUCTURE:

• Ways that loyalty helped O, examples & significance
• Ways that self-restraint helped O, examples & significance
• Ways that resilience helped O, examples & significance
• Athena's role, ways she helped him, significance
• (Biggest Part) Compare Athena's role and the help she gave Odysseus to what loyalty, restraint,and reslience did for O.
  • Athena gave Odysseus the opportunities to survive, reach Ithaca, and destroy the suitors, but loyalty, restraint, and resilience ultimately allowed him to achieve these things goals 

Theme 

Intriguing.

How will you structure this? 

Thank you for changing "things" :-)

Any way to prove that each of these traits was more valuable than A's help paragraph by paragraph versus a monster paragraph showing his at the end?

Go ahead and start your skeleton.  You can alway reorder once you have evidence in skeleton form. 

35. 

Throughout Homer's The Odyssey, vengeance and revenge ultimately lead to justice.

In Homer's The Odyssey the varying degrees and ways characters receive punishment for their actions show that revenge leads to justice but not to a lasting peace.

The body paragraphs would be what happened to Polyphemus, Antinous, and Agamemnon. 

Theme 

OK - start skeleton.  Thesis should preview the topics of the body paragraphs - try to incorporate.   

36. 

Throughout Homer's epic, The Odyssey, hospitality aids Odysseus on his journey to Ithaca 

Throughout Homer's epic, The Odyssey, hospitality aids Odysseus on his journey to Ithaca by granting him the necessities to return home.

Throughout Homer’s epic, The Odyssey, hospitality aids and backfires on Odysseus during his journey to Ithaca, with the help of some specific people.

Theme 

 You have a central idea.

HOW?  WHY?

List all the examples you can (use your time-line) and look for patterns.  Look for How? and Why? Categorize the evidence (which will add analysis and create topics for your body paragraphs) 

What are the necessities?  Topics of your body paragraphs need to be clear in the thesis. 

Are the topics of your body paragraphs:

1) hospitality aids

2) hospitality backfires ?

"with the help of some specific people" - needed?

Read in notes (book 15?) and introduction about "Welcome the coming guest and speed the parting guest" (not sure if that is exact quotation, but that is the idea)

37. 

In The Odyssey, by Homer, Odysseus is an effective, yet flawed, leader 

In The Odyssey, by Homer, Odysseus effectively leads his men out of danger and to glory, but cannot control his men when it matters most.

In The Odyssey, by Homer, Odysseus is an effective, yet flawed, leader

Body Paragraphs:

1. Pulls his men away from the Lotus Eaters

2. Gets his men back from Circe

3. Lets his men go to the Island of the Sun

In "The Odyssey", by Homer, Odysseus is an effective, yet flawed, leader, shown through his cunning, pride, and control of his men.

This seems more like observation.

What traits make him an effective leader?

What traits make him a flawed leader?

Body paragraphs need to have multiple pieces of evidence proving a point that supports the thesis.  Yours have one example each.  What traits make him an effective leader? Examples?  What are his flaws? Examples?

OK - as for everyone, be willing to tweak if needed as you go.   

38. 

In The Odyssey, Odysseus relies on his craftiness to face his challenges.

In certain cases, hospitality towards Odysseus lengthens his journey

In certain cases, hospitality towards Odysseus can lengthen his journey, and force him to work his way out of any problems.

In certain cases, hospitality towards Odysseus can force him to show leadership and courage, testing his strength not only physically, but mentally.

Throughout his journey home, hospitality towards Odysseus can end up testing his leadership and courage, forcing him to try to work his way out of unexpected problems

Throughout his journey home, hospitality towards Odysseus can take twists and end up testing his leadership and courage, and forces him to try to work his way out of unexpected problems

Character

Observation, not analysis.

Observation, not analysis.

What is the central idea you are proving? Topics of body paragraphs not clear

Are the body paragraphs leadership and courage or physical and mental tests.

Not sure what I  think about "In certain cases" Can you be more specific about which cases? 

OK

Phrasing in orange is smoother.

39. 

In The Odyssey, Odysseus' journey would not have been the same without the god's interference.

Throughout The Odyssey, Homer uses animal imagery to create vivid images, as well as convery important messages.

(kind of a different route)

Animals, especially birds and cattle, prove to be an important part of Greek culture, as well as Odysseus' journey.

In The Odyssey, the birds carried much symbolic meaning, as they served as omens, helped to describe character's persona, and... (I have evidence for the first two, I just need to come up with the third).

The courageous and strong, yet suspicious and mysterious acts that birds perfom prove to perfectly match actions and beliefs in The Odyssey.

The courageous and strong, yet suspicious and mysterious acts specific to birds, are also specific to actions and beliefs in The Odyssey.

I started my skeleton with one paragraph on omens and one on character descriptions.

Well, I thought that I could tie both together:

courageous and strong = actions

suspcious and mysterious = beliefs (omens)

Should I just pick one?

If Romeo were a fish…

Seems your evidence would be speculation.

Try a new idea. (Essays focusing on the gods do not tend to be as successful.) 

Too vague.

Why is animal imagerly effective? 

How? Why? So what?  Topics of body paragraphs?

Not esp. debatable...  Why do they serve well as symbols?  Use present tense.

Ah, now we are doing some analysis.

Which will be the topics of the body paragraphs?

OK (may need to tweak phrasing)

I expected the body paragraph topics to follow your thesis and be either:

A:   1 courageous and strong

       2 suspicious and mysterious acts

or

B:   1 actions

       2 beliefs

Try your plan.  

 40. 

In the Odyssey, what goes around comes around.

Homer's The Odyssey shows that all actions have their consequences, such as:

• Being greedy (Odysseus' men open bag w/ all the winds)
  • Pushed back out to sea, only Odysseus ever returns.
• Eating people (Odysseus' men)
  • Spear in the eye
• Eating a Apollo's cattle (Odysseus' crew)
  • Zapped by lightning
• Trying to prevent people from eating Apollo's cattle. (Odysseus)
  • Spared from lightning
• Eating a man out of house and home (suitors)(esp. Phemius)
  • All killed
• Chucking a cowhoof at a person's head.(Ctesippus)
  • Spear in the chest
• Leading the suitors and always talking(Antinous)
  • Arrow in the throat
• Being a traitor and insulting one's king. (Melanthius)
  • Nose, mouth, genitals, hands, feet cut off
• Sleeping around with the suitors and insulting the king. (Women, esp. Melantho)
  • Have to clean up bodies, then hanged.
• Resisting temptations. (Odysseus trying to get home.)
  • Gets home eventually
• Having hubris. (When Odyseus tells Polyphemus his name)
  • Poseidon does everything he can to ruin Odysseus.
• Sustained loyalty to the king. (Cow/Swineherd, Telemachus, Penelope)
  • Not killed, fought by the king, Cowherd/Swineherd were going to get land and be considered Telemachus' brothers
• Taking care of people.
  • Medon is spared because Medon raised Telemachus 

Categories:

• Hunger (for power/money/food) never has good results
• Punishments are often related to the crime. (how the punishment happens)
• If a person refrains from doing bad deeds, they are treated thusly.

The terrible affliction of hunger, either for wealth, food, or power, is the most common cause for punishment in The Odyssey.

• Being a traitor and insulting one's king. (Melanthius)

• Nose, mouth, genitals, hands, feet cut off
• • Being greedy (Odysseus' men open bag w/ all the winds)
    • Pushed back out to sea, only Odysseus ever returns.
  • Eating people (Odysseus' men)
    • Spear in the eye
  • Eating a Apollo's cattle (Odysseus' crew)
    • Zapped by lightning
  • Trying to prevent people from eating Apollo's cattle. (Odysseus)
    • Spared from lightning
  • Eating a man out of house and home (suitors)(esp. Phemius)
    • All killed    
      •  
         
    • Leading the suitors and always talking(Antinous)
      • Arrow in the throat 

    T 

You must go beyond a theme we identified in class. (Reread "D" on the Itinerary for the Odyssey")  Push the analysis of the message:   Why?   How?   So what?

List all the examples you can think of (use your time-line to help you).  Look for patterns.  Look for answers to the above questions.  How could you categorize the examples (analytically to form topics for your body paragraphs)?

Wow.   I did not expect you to list all of your evidence here.  The categories do not seem cohesive.  See note about looking for patterns and answers to why? or how?  Keep tweaking this. 

OK.

41. 

In the odyssey, the most important themes are the ones that repeat in the text.

Telemachus grows up by odysseus being away on his odyssey.

Odysseus faces his Odyssey by using brain and Brawn. Not one more than the other.

Odysseus faces his odyssey by using brain and brawn.

O

Too broad.  Too vague 

Why? How? What would the topics of your body paragraphs to prove this be?   List your evidence and categorize it. 

OK.  Make thesis one sentence.

Did not mean for you to lose the part that made it more analytical.  I just wanted it to be a grammatically correct single sentence. 

42. 

"A reoccurring theme in The Odyssey is avoiding temptation."

T 

First, what is the message about avoiding temptation?

Second, you must go beyond what we identified in class. (Reread "D" on the Itinerary for the Odyssey"

Push the analysis of the message: Why? How? So what?

List all the examples of avoiding (or not avoiding) temptation you can think of (use your timeline to help you). Look for patterns. Look for answers to the above questions. How could you categorize the examples (analytically to form body paragraphs)?

43. 

In "The Odyssey", Eumaeus and Penelope show that staying faithful is valuable in the long run.

In "The Odyssey", temptations create problems for Odysseus and his men. It prevents him from reaching home, causes distractions on his journey, and angers the gods.

In "The Odyssey", Odysseus and his men are tempted by various events because of their curiosity, greed, and need to survive.

theme

Clear idea and structure.

Is this debatable?  Try to push analysis deeper?

Do you have multiple examples for each body paragraph? 

Observation or analysis?

Categories could work (may need some tweaking)

Can you push analysis by incorporating WHY? or HOW?  

OK, give it a go.  Be thinking of your "so what?" for your conclusion.

44. 

In Homer's epic The Odyssey, Odysseus' relationships with women, both mortals and goddesses, reveal his admirable qualities.

Body Paragraphs organized by women (Calypso, Penelope, probably Athena?)

In Homer's epic The Odyssey, Odysseus' relationships with women, both mortals and goddesses, reveal his ability to resist temptation, his loyalty to his homeland, and his unwavering, fighting spirit.

Okay then, organized by his admirable qualities. That sounds better anyway.

Characters

+Original  +Intriguing.

Would your body paragraphs be organized by qualities or women? 

Can you add more specifics about the qualities in the thesis?

Well-phrased thesis.   OK.

 But from that thesis I  would expect the body paragraphs to be: 1. resist temp, 2. loyalty, and 3. fighting spirit, which I think is stronger organization than by woman. 

OK

45. 

The use of disguises by Odysseus contributes to achieving his objectives. 

The use of disguises by Odysseus contributes to achieving his objectives by finding the truth, deceiving the suitors, and gaining hospitality without excess harassment.  

Better.  Finding truth and gaining hospitality work as categories.  "deceiving the suitors" sounds like specific evidence instead of a category for multiple examples.  Tweak that part and OK.

46. 

Homer uses disguises in the epic to receive unbiased information to help Odysseus and Athena achieve their goals

 In "The Odyssey" there are parellels between the story of The House of Atreus and Odysseus's family.

In the epic there are several parellels and differences between the characters from the House of Atreus and those from the house of Odysseus. 

(would I refer to it as the house of Odysseus?)

See comments on #45

Specifically?

So what?

Without a "so what?" this is observation, not analysis.

(The equivalent name would be House of Laertes though I have never heard that used.)

(I changed your color b/c I could not read the yellow.)  The one blocked topic (see "D" on Itinerary handout) is proving O is a hero; HOWEVER, I am willing to consider this since you are using Campbell's monomyth, which is a valuable concept to know well.  How will you structure your paragraphs?  Be thinking of a meaningful "so what?" for your conclusion.

47. 

In Homer's The Odyssey hospitality plays a large role in greek lifestyle.

THEME

Observation, not analysis.

See comments for #13 and #20

48. 

In "The Odyssey"  Athena changes his appearance to help him in different settings

Changing appearance in the odyssey help characters receive valuable information from other character.

Character foils in the epic help understand the true characteristics and qualities of characters in the epic

 Odysseus and his crew make multiple mistakes throughout there journey that alter how quickly Odysseus is able to get back home to Ithaca.

Body Paragraphs would be:

1. when escaping from the cyclops Odysseus tells him who really blinded him (he tells Poseidon, his father to not let Odysseus get home ever)

2. When the crew gets the wind from Aeolus to help him get home. however his crew thinks Aeolus gave him lots of treasure and they are hiding it from him.

3. Even after being warned Odysseus's crew can not control there hunger and they eat the meat from the sun god.

In Homer's "The Odyssey", the gods drive Odysseus to specific places to inconspicuously show him what Ithaca should be more like.

In Homer's epic "The Odyssey", Odysseus and Telemachus  are inconspicuously shown characteristics of appreciation towards the gods and hospitality that Ithaca should possess.

Observation, not analysis

Why?

How?

What would the topics of your body paragraphs be? 

Topics of body paragraphs should be clear from thesis.  "understand" does not seem to be the right word.

I am far too busy even to comment on this.

This is retelling the story, not analyzing it.

Topics of your body paragraphs should be clear from the thesis.  Organizing the evidence based on the characteristics Ithaca should have will be more analytical than having paragraphs go place by place.  Are you now excluding T's destinations?

Does this imply T and O are ignorant of these characteristics?   Ist there evidence Ithaca ever had them?  Any other characteristics than these two?  How will you prove ""inconspicuously"?  Avoid passive.   Address why these characteristics are important to a society.

49. 

Homer portrays many different types of revenge in The Odyssey, ranging from honorable killings to mass slaughters, but in the end he shows that though vengeance brings momentary satisfaction it will never bring a lasting peace. 

OK - give it a go.

Will your paragraphs will be organized by types of revenge? 

50. 

In Homer's epic, The Odyssey, Odysseus overcomes numerous tests, trials, and temptations in order to reclaim his beloved Ithica.

In Homer's  epic, The Odyssey, the ability to overcome multiple tests and temptations allows a determined king to reclaim his thrown.

Your last comment made me think it would be better to think beyond just Odysseus, maybe having him as a body paragraph with Penelope and Telamachus?

Throughout Homer's epic, The Odyssey, characters resist extreme tests and temptations in order to rejuvinate a king, his family, and his throne.

should I just give up this idea? 

Throughout Homer's epic, "the Odyssey", the determination of Odysseus to return to his homeland enables him to overcome multiple tests and temptations along the way.

In Homer's epic, "the Odyssey", overcoming similar reoccuring tests and temptations represents Odysseus' ability to return home, and reclaim his throne of Ithica.

• Odysseus is being tested to prove to himself that he is strong enough to return home. If  able to overcome the events, he would be worthy of his throne.

In Homer's epic, "the Odyssey", Odysseus is able to complete his journey by overcoming various tests, such as resisting temptation, and bypassing physical and emotional barriers. 

Observation, not analysis.

So what? (could lead to an analytical angle on this) 

Still feels like observation.

You could try considering what types of tests and temptations and consider what they might represent... 

Still feels like a summary more than an analysis...  See note in red again. 

or take my advice in red...

"recurring tests and temptations" is good - what is the pattern in these tests and temptations?

So, body paragraphs:

1. resisting temptation

2. overcoming physical barriers

3. bypassing emotional barriers?

Be sure to address in the skeleton the significance of these types of tests(separately and combined).  Why would these be valuable tests?  What do they test?  What do the results reveal?

51.

Throughout "the Odyssey", Odysseus' goal of returning home to his wife and son drives him on and gives him the (willpower) necessary to overcome everything in his path.

Throughout "The Odyssey", Odysseus' goal is to return home to his homeland, his wife and his son. This goal is what enables him to prevail against temptations, physical strains, and people that deter his passage home. 

Throughout "The Odyssey", Odysseus' goal of returning home to his wife and his son enables him to prevail against temptations, physical strains, and people that deter his passage home.

In "The Odyssey," Odysseus would not have been able to return to Ithaca if it were not for the combination of Odysseus' effort and the gods' help.

In "The Odyssey," Homer shows that persevering is better than giving up, because in the cases of Odysseus, Penelope and Telemachus it has a favorable outcome.

In "The Odyssey," the success of Odysseus, Telemachus and Penelope is the result of their perseverance.

*(More concise? or should i reword it again.)

In "The Odyssey," the perseverance of Odysseus, Telemachus and Penelope ultimatley results in their success.

You need to take this a step further - a few options: break "everything" into categories and prove that willpower allows him to overcome each type of trial OR explore WHY? or HOW? home gives him the needed willpower.

List all the examples you can (use your time-line) and look for patterns.  Look for How? and Why? Categorize the evidence (which will add analysis and create topics for your body paragraphs) 

OK but combine into one smooth sentence. 

 See skeleton handout (on web page) and sample skeleton.

OK.  Could refine/smooth phrasing but works.  Each body paragraph needs to prove his return is what enables him to overcome.

OK.  See advice in earlier notes above.

Picky note: comma goes inside the quotation marks

OK but wordy.  Make more concise

Yes, more concise.  Now to get rid of that linking verb...:-)   (not required but stronger verbs do make stronger sentences) 

OK (but spell check)

In "The Odyssey" Homer uses bird imagery to convey a known image to his audience, often using a bird of prey and a weak bird, such as a dove or a goose.

In the Odyssey, Homer uses disguises to help Odysseus do what he need to do in order to succeed at any mission that he takes part in.

Examples: Infiltration of Troy, "Nobody" on the Cyclops' Island, Beggar w/ Penelope and the suitors.

More observation than analysis.  You could make this work but need to take it further.  Why birds?  What does he convey?  How?

List all the examples you can (use your time-line) and look for patterns.  Look for How? and Why? Categorize the evidence (which will add analysis and create topics for your body paragraphs)

How/why do disguises help him?

Need topics for body paragraphs.

Topics should group or categorize examples.

In "The Odyssey", Odysseus transforms from a famous, over confident warrior to a humble and grateful yet still confident king. 

Odysseus learns to be grateful and humble as a result of his struggles on his way home from Troy. This is a large reason why he is ultimately able to defeat the suitors and live in peace in Ithica.

I think I will have enough  evidence.

My body paragraphs are:

Odysseus almost is denied passage home because he is over confident (hubris).

Odysseus learns to be humble in order to get what he needs to get home.

Odysseus being humble and patient allows him to defeat the suitors who are hubris at that point.

(I have been working on my outline and as I'm writing I am finding that I may not enough evidence. Also the paragraph topics don't seem to be that strong) 

This thesis is not working well. I can't find enough evidence to suport it and the paragraph topics are very weak and not thought-provoking. I am meeting wiht you during E Block on Friday June 12, so it would be a huge help if we could discuss this then. Thanks

In The Odyssey, Odysseus achieves his goal with the knowlege from the lessons he has learned, the guidance of mentors, and his own intuition.

How? Why?  Otherwise this is mere plot summary, no?

Do you have enough evidence? What are the topics of your body paragraphs?

I agree about paragraph topics - not esp. analytical structure (more plot recap).  How were you proving he learns to be humble?

Other ideas?  Any way to expand/take new angle on this, so can use at least some of evidence you have. 

We spoke in class, and can conference again Friday 

OK.  Be sure to address in your skeleton: so what?  Is there power in the combination of these versus each separately?  To whom would this be useful today?  Put epic title in quotation marks (comma inside quotation marks).

In Homer's Epic The Odyssey, the homeric similies surrounding Odysseus show characteristics about him.

Throughout Homer's epic The Odyssey, Homeric similes and animal imagery that surround Odysseus shows his personality traits.

Make more specific.  What characteristics?  What types of Homeriic similes?

Same question about traits.  Not especially analytical.  Topics of body paragraphs should be clear from thesis.

In "The Odyssey" Homer gives Odysseus flaws and defects in order to keep him a hero and not a god.

In "The Odyssey" Homer gives Odysseus conflicts, personality traits and punishments to make Odysseus seem heroic and not god-like.

Throughout "The Odyssey", Homer gives Odysseus traits like the gods, but clearly potrays him as a hero and not a god.

Going a different direction because I can't think how I would prove that without proving him a hero:

Throughout “The Odyssey” Homer throws temptation, obstacles and missions at Odysseus in order to prove to the gods that he is a moral man.

Throwing obstacles, missions and temptations at Odysseus, Homer shows that Odysseus has set morals.

How can you prove this was Homer's purpose (be careful how you phrase this)?   What would the topics of your body paragraphs be?

Is this proving he is a hero (the one topic blocked if you read D of Itinerary handout)?  Maybe it is different with last bit...  Do the gods not have conflicts, personality traits and punishments?

Might work if restructured.  You cannot prove Homer's intent.  Is it debatable that O is a moral man?  (truly a question)

OK

Observation, not analysis, but has potential to develop into analysis.

In what ways does H use color? 

In the Odyssey, Odysseus exersices great prudence and restraint which ultimately allows him to reclaim his throne. 

In the Odyssey, Odysseus is able to reclaim his throne by exersicing prudence, cunning, and provision.

So, you have evidence to prove prudence and then different evidence to prove restraint?  Any other characteristic? 

OK  - give it a go

In Homer's epic,"The Odyssey", Odysseus is dynamic hero because he grows mentally and emotionally and overcomes many obstacles with the help of the gods testing and helping him during his odyssey.

In Homer's epic, "The Odyssey", Odysseus is a dynamic protagonist because he grows mentally and emotionally and and overcomes many obstacles with the help of the gods testing him and helping him during his odyssey. 

- he is tested by the gods so when he finally meets laertes he tests him.

-temptation by the gods made him stronger because it made him want to come home faster.  

In Homer's epic, "The Odyssey", Odysseus is a dynamic protagonist because he grows mentally which helps him overcome obstacles with the help of the gods testing Odyssey during hid odyssey 

The one topic I blocked was proving he is a hero... but you could prove he is dynamic.  Do you have enough evidence to show he changed mentally and emotionally? 

Thesis could end at "emotionally."

What is the difference between "mentally" and "emotionally"?

I don't understand the first bullet point.

OK if you have sufficient evidence to prove he changes in specified ways.

This only has one body paragraph (he grows mentally) to prove he is dynamic

In "The Odyssey" Atinous is not a good leader, he is an influencial leader.

In "The Odyssey" Antonius is not a good leader because he is hot tempered and ignores signs from the gods.  However he is an influencial leader because even though he does this, he is still influencial because of his powerful speaking.

-When questioning where Telemachus is.

-After he throws the stool at Odyssues

-Responding to the propehcy given by Medon.

-Responding to the suitors pointing out the bird omens.

Intriguing.  What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?  (should be clear from the thesis) 

We spoke in person.

In the epic "The Odyssey", Odysseus' loyalty, along with many other characters, is tested.

Odysseus' loyalty to his family and country helps him to arrive in Ithaca as quickly as possible.

Observation not analysis.

Avoid passive.

How will you prove "as quickly as possible"? 

Throughout "The Odyssey" the God's help and hinder Odysseus, Telemachus, and the suitors, demonstrating both their harsh yet forgiving traits. 

Each body paragraph would focus on either Odysseus, Telemachus or the suitors and their interactions with the Gods. In the "so what?" section I was going to talk about how many of the interactions between the characters and the God's were explanations for natural occurences, and some religions today still make up stories to explain the same natural occurences even with modern technology.

My thesis was approved in class, and the final ended up being: In “The Odyssey” the actions of the Greek Gods explain good fortune, the action’s of characters, and nature; demonstrating the Greek’s inability to accept what they do not understand.

I have not seen students have great success with essays on the gods, but if well-structured and ANALYTICAL, esp. in the "so what?" in the conclusion, this could work.  What would the topics of your body paragraphs be? 

Any way to organize the skeleton based on the natural occurrances?

Go ahead and start your skeleton.  Be open to tweaking it.

Thank you for updating the  wiki with your final thesis.

In "The Odyssey", cunning is a more powerful trait than physical strength

In “The Odyssey” Odysseus proves that cunning is a more powerful trait than strength in his confrontations with the Cyclops and the suitors.

I have two different thesis statements: I'm not sure which sounds better. Both prove the same things; I'm just unsure of which Thesis statement sounds more analytical. [Also, my first is in the passive, because it didn't seem to sound correct when I read it in active...]

1. In "The Odyssey", cunning is demonstrated to be more powerful than strength when Hephaestus snares Ares and Aphrodite during their illicit affair, Odysseus blinds Polyphemus, and slays the suitors.

2. In "The Odyssey" cunning is more powerful than physical strength because wits allow you to scan all possible solutions to a problem, while muscles allow you only one.

In "The Odyssey" cunning is more powerful than physical strength because it allows one to succeed without exerting a lot of energy, and wits allow one to scan all possible solutions to a problem, while muscles allow only one. 

Body paragraphs 

-Hephaestus story- little energy exerted

-Odysseus slays the suitors- scans all possible solutions

-Odysseus blinds the cyclops- limits of muscles

Good theme.  WHY (is cunning a more...)? 

What will the topics of your body paragraphs be?  (should be clear from the thesis) 

Answering WHY cunning is a more powerful trait than strength and making the answers the topics of your body paragraphs would be more analytical.  You could then use examples from the story of Hephaestus in book 8.

You should be sleeping at 2AM.

1. Just cut "is demonstrated to be" BUT I don't like this one b/c it lists specific evidence instead of categories for evidence (which would become topics of body paragraphs containing multiple examples)  and this one is more observation than analysis.

2. Better.  More analytical. Will allow you to synthesize evidence better.  So,  one body paragraph on wits allowing to consider all possible solutions and another paragragh on limits of muscles?

T shows traits of T?  Please clarify.

GRRRR to whomever changed the earlier one to "Chuckles"!!!!  RUDE and INCONSIDERATE. Sorry this happened to you. 

In "The Odyssey," the anger of Antinous is the indirect reason for his death.

Is this your central idea? (works if you have the evidence)

What are the topics of your body paragraphs, though?

Are you the person who wrote #61?